Hisoka ♥

Hisoka helped me realize I'm asexual

Aside from that, Hisoka is important to me because he helped me realize my identity as an asexual. That's a lot of credit for this dumb fictional character so to clarify, it was another fan who led me to discover this. The association with Hisoka is hard to shake off because he is the specimen being observed here, and so that's just how it will be.

To enter the more touchy side, I have a similar fetish to Hisoka. Hisoka appears to find sexual gratification in facing strong opponents and has indirectly alluded killing someone as having sex with them. To which I relate to somehow! I get it. I really like violence as extreme expressions of love and I think situations where either party could die in the hands of the other are very intimate and brimming with love! Though I don't really like the sexual part of it, I would classify it as a fetish (fetishes aren't always sexual! they may also mean "obsessions").

When I got into Hunter X Hunter, I was super put off by Hisoka even though I sort of recognized he was sort of my kind of character. I took little dips in the fandom before reading the manga and the impression I got was that he was the "sex god" character who fucks so much which honestly made me uncomfortable (which is why I liked Illumi more at first). But thanks to a certain fan, pretty much everything changed for me and not just how I viewed Hisoka (if that matters.) Opposite from the "sex god" characterization of Hisoka, there's plenty of canon evidence that support Hisoka being on the asexual spectrum. It isn't far fetched at all. This is their analysis post that helped me into that rabbit hole.

It ended up having a larger impact on me than expected. I really didn't know much about asexuality before I decided to research about it, because I couldn't believe Hisoka could be an asexual. And in a way, though I didn't realize so at first, I basically thought it was impossible for me to be asexual. It was thanks to that post, really, that I was able to learn more about asexuality and therefore learn more about myself!

Others have made me feel ashamed before. I didn't know how to defend myself because I wasn't sure what exactly was going on with me. I really don't like sex, even if I think it's interesting, even if I write about fictional characters fucking. I'm an asexual with a neutral to repulsed view on sex. Just because I talk about sex often doesn't mean I don't need to be warned whether something has sex in it. Just because I think sex is interesting doesn't mean I want to hear about people's sex lives unprompted.

Realizing this made me really happy because I'm able to set better boundaries now and simply shake my head at those too stubborn to learn. It's all still just a headcanon, that Hisoka is on the asexual spectrum, but it makes me feel quite represented by him and his character affirms what I stand for. I've never been wrong about feeling uncomfortable and knowing that, I don't need to make myself feel uncomfortable anymore. What I do is fun and cool and I like it and I do it because I can.

I'm going to include this here. I love all my friends who understood me and accepted me even if I didn't myself. I greatly appreciate you guys! I love you because it's you have shown me that I am loved! ♥

Don't take this kinning thing too seriously. It's all mostly a funny coincidence. Hisoka may not be as nice in canon as I may have made him sound like (I hope I didn't). I don't like killing people in real life and other disclaimers blah blah blah whatever.