Hisoka

1. likes fun things
2. quiet
3. has a murder boner
4. lies for funsies
5. asexual^[1] and likes sex as a concept (aesthetically)
6. loves self

It's funny how he found his way to my kinlist which is the worst possible result from me getting into Hunter X Hunter. I'm not distraught over having such shared traits with someone like Hisoka though, because he's pretty cool (just forget a little about the child sex offender part about him). I like Hisoka because he's unabashedly himself and for himself. He does things because he wants to, he likes it, and because he can. He knows he can be pretty bad, evil and cringe and he flaunts it fabulously.

It's the violence and killing kink part that I relate to the most. I especially like situations that may involve death because they seem very intimate to me, and I like when intimacy gets violent. Though, I never liked the thought of having sex myself, but since I'm into such outlandish things, it felt like it didn't make sense for me to be asexual, because "being into (strange) ways of being intimate = super sex having expert" right? No, not true^[2]. But others made me feel guilty and cringe about it, and I didn't know enough to tell them that THEY'RE the crigne.

When I got into Hunter X Hunter, I was super put off by Hisoka because as far as I knew he was the Sex God character who fucks so much which, honestly, made me very uncomfortable (which is why I liked Illumi more at first). I only started liking him when I realized that this interpretation of him is just plain old mischaracterization by the mainstream. Hisoka being on the asexual spectrum isn't far fetched at all, and this analysis post helped me into that rabbit hole. I really didn't know much about asexuality because I thought it was impossible for me to be asexual but it was thanks to that poster, really, that I was able to learn more about asexuality and therefore myself better! I am asexual, and I'm sex-neutral to sex-repulsed actually. I don't like sex (genitals, orgasms, all that jizz jass) but I really like violent expressions of love! Those two facts can coexist with each other.

When I realized this, I honestly felt very represented by Hisoka and it made me really happy. I've always felt wrong because of these conflicting parts of me but now I know that I should BE the Freak because that's cool and I'm cool. And I'm loved! ♥ I love my friends too because they deserve all the appreciation for being smart and tough enough to understand and accept me. ♥

Of course I trust you all to understand that I don't like actual murder in real life and that I am ignoring Hisoka's pedophilic tendencies because they do not apply to me the way he has them.